Large Family Road Trip

We just returned from a ten day road trip with all seven of our children. We have gone on long road trips like this before, to Tennessee while we were missionaries in Mexico, and even earlier, we took our then four children to Canada for a two week long driving trip. This trip was different. Now, instead of taking four or five young children, we were taking seven children, and most of them are hardly children. We were taking a van full of big people, with big opinions. When everyone was small, it was easy to say where we were going and to make the decisions about what we would do. Now we would have to take the interests of a wide range of people into consideration as we planned our stops.

The idea for the trip had started when a magazine that I contribute to called Wild and Free, planned a conference in Portland, Oregon. We had talked for several years about taking our children to see the Pacific Northwest, but with our yearly trips to Mexico to visit the orphanage, it had been hard to find the time. However, with the opportunity to speak at this conference before me, the choice to take our children along became an easy one.

It was also an easy destination to want to visit because Scott and I both have special memories from the Pacific Northwest. I spent many summer days walking around Lake Marie as a child and Scott had gone up and down the I-5 to Oregon on his way to visit his aunties several times throughout his childhood. 

We started the trip with a day long drive to our first destination, where we camped beside pretty little Lake Marie. We walked the one mile pathway around the lake, smiling inwardly as I remembered walking around that same lake as a child, and groaning about the awful distance, much as my own young daughter resorted to. The ferns and mosses were awe inspiring, as were the tiny creeks. We had come from dry California, after all, and the rushing water everywhere filled us with joy.

After a sweet visit there with some of my dear relatives, and an amazing tour of my childhood home, we headed up the coast to our next destination, LaConner, Washington. When we pulled in, it was a bit discouraging. We were camping in a hybrid travel trailer and I wasn't at all excited about close neighbors hearing our every mutter through the thin walls. The last campground had been relatively deserted which is exactly how I like it. This one was teeming with people. We finally found a little campsite, which although cramped, was at least surrounded by shrubs, and set up our trailer. 

The next day we headed out early to see my aunt in Canada, and spent the day exploring the outskirts of Vancouver. We got separated without phone service in Lynn Canyon Park when the six and eight year olds who were with Scott decided they didn't want to go over the suspension bridge, and the rest of us were too hemmed in by people to turn around. I kept going, trusting that my husband and I and the younger children would find each other eventually.  We did find each other, and enjoyed the rest of our day with my favorite B.C. relatives.



The next day we visited Seattle, the place of my birth. One of the top places to go on the tourist information was Pikes Place, and since we all were wanting a good cup of coffee, a pastry and some books, we decided to go there. I don't recommend it with small children. My six year old thinks it is okay for him to run ahead like his brothers, and so I spent the entire time in terror that I would lose him among the crowds. After seven children and a Mexico move, I am not the most easily rattled person, but by the time I reached the car I was in tears. 

We headed out of the city to the beautiful Japanese Gardens, which was much more my pace. The whole Washington Park Arboretum was incredibly beautiful, with its lush rhododendrons blooming on every hillside. Someday I will go back to Pikes Place, but definitely not with a crowd of my own people to try and keep track of.



Our Washington campground was situated on the pretty Skagit Bay, and was a natural wonder for my children. The two youngest reveled in turning over rocks and counting crabs, of which there were plenty. The three boys built a raft out of driftwood and set out to sea, abandoning ship and swimming to shore when the currents gave them the impression that they might indeed be carried away.

One of our favorite parts of our time in Washington, was visiting the San Juan Islands. We were hoping to see whales while we were on the ferry, making it the cheapest whale watching trip with nine people ever, and although we didn't eventually see whales, we did eat a gorgeous tart at the San Juan Bakery, find some amazing books at the local thrift store, and finally get a great americano. Being more of a country girl, than an urban dweller, I found the slower pace on the island very refreshing.

We ended our trip in Eugene, Oregon, visiting another sweet relative, after spending two nights in Portland. The waterfalls surrounding the city were awe inspiring, and although I didn't do as much exploring as the rest of my family, because of the extraordinary conference I was attending, I did get to listen to one of our family's favorite musicians and meet his beautiful family, as well as meeting many other amazing women.

Because our time with our children is ultimately limited, Scott and I were so very thankful to explore some incredible places with them. The small trailer got crowded and smelly with all of us staying there, the car rides were long and tiring, but the sights we saw, the people that we met, and the sweeter bonds that we formed with each other, made all the little inconveniences insignificant. 

We only have one chance to raise our children, and intense time together is one of the best ways to connect and to stay connected. What will you do this summer to renew love and connection in your family?

Bountiful Recreation on a Budget

Living on a budget often conjures up images of scarcity and lack. You imagine yourself watching the world pass you by while you count pennies in a dark room. However, the thing that you are truly unlikely to be doing is cooking rice over an open fire for your children, or scrounging the garbage heap looking for food for them. If you are reading this post, chances are you have a roof over your head and at least a little food in your pantry, unlike much of the developing world. Your are just looking for ideas on how to make your resources go a little farther.
We have lived frugally for so long that perhaps our taste for fun is a little tainted. However, we really do have fun on a budget, and in so doing free up resources to do meaningful things such as packing up boxes for Operation Christmas Child or sending a loved one to a marriage conference.

Today, Sunday, felt very fun, although it required very little financial outlay. We spent a leisurely morning drinking coffee and reading in bed. After preparing ourselves and a salad offering for the church potluck, we scrambled out the door for the short drive to our local fellowship. We worshipped and listened to the Word for a while, and then ate a yummy soup and bread potluck lunch while visiting with church friends.

Later we headed the short distance home where we split into smaller groups to find our own afternoon leisure. My husband had to run the carpet cleaner we had rented back to the grocery store so I hitched a ride with him so we could have a spontaneous date. When our children were younger, babysitting costs would have made this opportunity a little less feasible but with several older children at home, we can sneak out for a quick break together weekly. After dropping the carpet cleaner off at the grocery store we picked up two for one coffees at our local Starbucks. While sipping our steaming mochas, we strolled the downtown area, admiring front porches and discussing plans for an upcoming marriage retreat that we are hosting.

Shortly after we returned home a few of the younger children and I went on a stroll down our country road, admiring the leaves and savoring the cool autumn air. Upon our return we set up a colorful vignette on our picnic table and spent a few minutes doing crayon rubbings and leaf sketches. 

While we were doing our nature study, my oldest son reminded me that I had promised to read an essay that he was assigned in his English class. I scanned it and then went to find and visit with the other children who I had not yet connected with. One of these was returning from a run, so her and I went on a quick walk in the darkening twilight while she cooled down and talked.

When I returned to the house, I was ready for a few minutes to myself, so I instructed another child to heat up leftover soup on the stove and I stole away to my closet to check Instagram, eat chocolate and put away clean clothes, not exactly simultaneously. A few of the middle kids were wanting to watch an action movie that was available on Amazon and were very motivated to tidy up the house so we could watch it together. 
While I had my strange mix of relaxation in the closet, they tidied up the house and got the movie going. As it started I popped popcorn, put on a g-rated movie for the youngest two in my bedroom, and then finally joined them.We sat on the edge of our seats through the movie, spent some time praying afterwards, and then headed off to bed for the night.

Total cost for a fun filled day of investing in relationships?

Coffee-4.75

Movie-4.99

Leftovers, popcorn, and gas >$5

And the return on the investment is impossible to put a price on.

Family fun is completely within reach on a budget. It might take a little more work or preparation, but the returns are great as we teach our children to love simple pleasures, and demonstrate to them the principle of storing up treasure in heaven instead of squandering it here on earth.

Simplified Room Cleaning for Kids

How does it happen? Every few weeks I am forced to go into my youngest boys' bedroom, after finding it increasingly messy when I tuck them in at night, and do a thorough cleaning. While I clean, I utter encouraging words such as, "How did this happen?", "Why do you have ten pairs of socks under your bed" and "You are not the two little pigs!". 

As I exclaim in shock and awe, I scrape the underbed contents and begin sorting. I invariably find an odd assortment of dusty stuffed animals, mismatched socks, dog-eared books and scattered bits of that bane of my existence,

Legos.

To give my young boys a little credit, I must say that their room is quite small and it is rather hard to tell which of the two who share it is the worst perpetrator. Making beds and closing drawers are two basic daily duties that should be routine at this point, but as my son pointed out to me when I took the photos, "This is going to look bad for you", and the truth is that if it isn't a routine, it means that I haven't been following through. 

If I daily check their room to make sure those things are done and then give appropriate consequences when they are left undone, it will eventually become a habit for them. However, if I go in there once a month when it has become unbearable, rant and rave over the mess and then ignore it again until next month, I will have taught them nothing, except perhaps that I am inconsistent with my expectations.

As with any task which we expect our children to do, there are a few basic ideas for making it doable.

1. Keep it simple. Easy to pull up blankets, or a bottom sheet with duvet cover will make bed making do-able for the youngest of children.

2. Keep it organized. We try really hard to only have a few categories of toys in our home, and especially in the rooms. This particular room has a bin for stuffed animals, a bin for dress up, a book-shelf with special books, a small toy bin for toy animals, and hooks for back packs. There is also an under-bed drawer for Legos, those evil little offenders of room cleanliness.

3. Keep a minimum of stuff. This room does not have a closet. When we remodeled, we had to take the closet out for use as a hallway and so it is a little awkward for clothes storage. We keep the boys better clothes hanging up in our closet and they are just responsible for a few drawers of everyday clothes. Keeping these everyday clothes, jammies and underthings weeded through regularly makes it much easier for the boys to put their clothes away in the proper drawers. A few categories of toys are kept in their own individual bins.

This is no designer bedroom. With seven children at home, we are just one step away from having utilitarian dorm rooms, but helping these young men develop good habits that will carry them into adulthood is our responsibility as parents. 

Another post on cleaning kids rooms

And one with a great cleaning checklist here

And this one on our responsibility as parents

Bountiful Homeschooling On a Budget

I am doing an online book study with the book 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker right now and it is a fresh reminder of why I wrote the book, Bountiful Homeschooling on a Budget. So often, our decisions about money are based solely on what we want or can afford, and we often neglect to consider how our financial choices glorify God, or how they don't, whatever the truth may be.

So, over the next several weeks and just in time to help you save for the holidays, I am going to be highlighting some key ideas from the book.

                                                

One of my favorite ideas for saving money on homeschooling is to form a learning community with local friends. Homeschooling is so much more fun in community, but if you are trying to do it on a budget then many organized co-ops such as Classical Conversations may be out of reach. 

As well, there may be a particular learning focus that is important to you, and so a one size fits all approach is not going to be in the best interest of your family.

We have had a homeschool co-op in some form for over ten years, we started one when we lived in the Northern California foothills, grouped up with some homeschoolers while in Mexico, and have one in our current little town as well. 

Some years, the focus has been on science and other years we study history. We are currently working our way through Early American History and having a blast with a small group of local friends.

For myself, the areas of learning that are really hard for me to cover are art and science experiments so when we have a co-op we make sure to have those areas covered. This has also saved me lots of money on art and science classes as we have been able to learn from other moms in our community those skills which we might lack.

              

Interested in forming a co-op but not sure where to start? 

Here are a few easy tips to get you going.

1. Find a few friends who are interested in getting together to learn. Usually 3-4 families is optimum for an in-home co-op.

2. Set up a meeting to discuss the schedule and expectations. I usually plan a year's worth of topics at the beginning of the school year. For instance, we might meet once a month and cover a chapter in a science book at each meeting or we might cover a different time in history at each meeting. 

 

3. Plan who is responsible for teaching. In our co-op, we usually have rotating duties which include; hosting, art instruction, geography and snack. In our science group we would assign a different mom to each science book group (some children were in high school textbooks, others were in elementary Apologia books).

4. Give each mom a calendar and then form a Facebook or other group to keep the moms in the loop about where you are meeting and what they are responsible for.

Having our own homeschool co-op has saved me thousands of dollars and hours of time. I did check into Classical Conversations one year, but with a family of my size and even with working as a tutor it would have been very expensive and even more time consuming. For now, forming our own co-op has been a wonderful and creative option for learning in community and gaining new skills. 

If however, Classical Conversations is the best option for you, I know some excellent tutors and directors. Comment for more info.

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Turn off the Television and Get a Life

"See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time…"

Ephesians 5:15-16

I read this article today which suggested that television viewing may be linked to poverty. While I take all studies with a grain of salt, the idea that by turning off the t.v. you might gain some life skills which would make you a more valuable employee or business owner, or even that perhaps the morality or lack of it displayed in television might make you a less productive citizen have merit. 

                                 

                                 
While we certainly slump wearily in front of a show now and then (hence our Frozen party), we are very careful to keep it to a minimum. The most useful way we do that is by not subscribing to any cable service, and staying busy doing things that are much more interesting than vicariously living some television character's sordid life.


                                     

The less the tv is on, the more likely your children, and you, will find other ways to entertain yourself. Growing a garden, raising chickens or reading a book are all productive pursuits to replace after school television temptation, and in the evenings, sitting around a good meal, reading the Bible together and practicing worship guitar, keep us busy and happy until it is time to say goodnight.

                                 

On the weekends when there might be temptation to turn on the tube, we are busy working in our yard, or taking a field trip to a beach or trout pond. Life is full of moments where we make seemingly small decisions that have huge consequences for the future. 

When we cut off the stream of inanity that often flows unfiltered into our homes, we are creating one more opportunity for us and our children to be transformers of culture, instead of merely partakers.

                                        
                                               

A Poem From My Daughter

In between studying for a chemistry exam, planning a bridal shower and fighting a nasty poison oak outbreak, my oldest daughter wrote me this poem. Needless to say, I cried.

To My Mom

When I was a little mite

I dreamed of queens and gold and jewels

I thought of famous ladies

With their diamonds and their silks

Olive oil and baths of milk. 

My mind imagined graces,

beautiful, perfected laces.

Examining and turning
les femmes of history,
I realized with a startled visage

none, not one of these damsels, 

could hold a million candles

to the one that is you.

There is in you a grace so sure,

a love which has, which will endure.

A face so breathtakingly beautiful,

Helen of Troy would be held so dull.

This was when I was a little mite,

but now I am grown.

My hypothesis is tested and found right.

I live now in a reality with a created being,

who lives a life of solid meaning,

the fairest of fair among all the women.

by Emelie Pepito

Country Life is Healthy For Kids (But You Can Meet Nature Needs in the City)

                       

We had been reading about pioneers in much of our read aloud times; Laura Ingalls Wilder, Sarah Whitcher, Kirsten, and so I should not have been surprised when she came to me, eager and pleading with a faded prairie skirt that I was to put on. I hesitated at first, I had lots of real life pioneer work to do; caring for the goats, folding up the line gathered laundry and watering my thirsty fruit trees, but as I saw the disappointment in her face at my hesitation I complied. I slipped the bulky skirt and thread bare apron on over my jeans and tromped about the property doing my chores while trying to be as Ma like as I could with my modern busy mind.

As we worked and played I reflected on an article I had read earlier in the day. This study was conducted in Australia where a school had their safety conscious playground removed and were left with a mud hole and some spare parts. The results were amazing. Suddenly kids were engrossed in creative play and as a result anti social behaviors decreased. This article talks about even more health and wellness benefits which come when children are allowed free play in the great outdoors. 

                        

Many of these benefits I simply take for granted. With homeschooling and country life we are free to adapt to our children's needs. Instead of putting a child on medication to help them focus in class, I can set them on an exercise ball to finish a math lesson, and then send them outside to jump on the trampoline to get some wiggles out. It would never even occur to me to make a child sit indoors under artificial light all day and then pressure the parents to medicate him so he would comply with my unreasonable demands. When did adults forget that children need time to play, to explore and to think their own thoughts? When did school administrators get so enslaved by the idea that all children should learn and test the same things at the same time that it would be worth putting non food substances in their body to make them able to comply? When?

I realize how privileged we are to have the freedom and the means to live in the country and to homeschool. And I was still privileged when we lived in a tiny suburban house with a tiny lot. During those intervals when I couldn't just send the kids out to run circles around the property, or bounce on the trampoline to release energy, we had to be creative. It often meant leaving areas of our small yard unadulterated so the children could plant flowers or build minuscule roads for their matchbox cars.

He's smiling because he just walked through a creek!

And no matter where we live we have made forays into the natural world a priority. Hiking trails, creeks, beaches and ponds all offer calm and creative places for our children to explore and connect. Where better to encounter Father God, who is the source of all life than in the natural world that He created with such care.

       
                       

Looking for a good read aloud about a girl who got a little lost in nature? 
check out Sarah Whitcher's Story (affiliate link)

Linking up with Welcome Home Wednesdays

Cherry-Almond Granola, New Kids and a Flood

No sooner did I make an inspiring list of goals for the year than I got hit with a few major interruptions. First, our goat became a first time mama. The three kids are a delightful little distraction but it is easy to lose an hour staring at them when I only meant to quickly check on them.

In the midst of the fun our drain backed up, leaked out a faulty pipe and ruined my lovely kitchen floors. This necessitated digging a four by four hole in my laundry room floor which has left me in one of the worst situations for a large family. No laundry facilities!

However, I still yearn to spend quality time with my children and feed them healthy food so in the middle of the chaos I decided to enlist their help to turn some of my bulk purchased oatmeal into a hearty batch of tasty granola.

Cherry-Almond Granola

Preheat oven to 300

Mix in large bowl,

8 cups rolled oats

1 cup almonds

2 T chia seeds

1 cup coconut

(You could substitute any nut or seed in place of the almonds/chia seeds/coconut)

In a small saucepan melt together

1/2 cup butter

1/4 cup coconut oil

1/4 cup honey

1/4 cup molasses

1/4 cup brown sugar

2 t cinnamon

1 t pumpkin pie spice

1/4 t. salt

1 t. vanilla

Cook and stir just until melted and combined. Pour slowly over the oats mix, stirring thoroughly. 

Once all ingredients are evenly mixed, spread on two large cookie sheets.

Bake for 20-25 minutes, or until golden brown.

After removing from oven add 1 cup dried cherries.

(You could substitute any dried fruit on hand. I prefer to add after granola has cooked so the fruit does not dry out, just a personal preference).

Once cool, place in airtight container and enjoy.

As you can see, this was a fun and easy recipe that my children loved helping out with. It is also flexible enough that if a child does not measure exactly, it won't be ruined.

Linked up at Welcome Home Wednesdays

A Fresh New Year With Fresh New Goals

Photo courtesy, Emelie Pepito

I love Christmas, but as soon as the day is past, I am ready to get organized for the new year. One of my favorite New Year's traditions is getting the decorations put away and the rooms dusted and vacuumed. It is so nice to have everything fresh and clean again. Another of my favorite traditions for the first day of the year is making a whole new set of goals to help define the coming year. 

Although I have read many books on goal setting, one of my favorite systems was well explained by missionary wife Colleen Adams at a women's meeting I went to. Thankfully my creative friend Rebecca, beautifully explains the whole system here, visit her page and you will find a very clear explanation of each area of goal setting. The short story is that, instead of trying to make A, B and C goals, or just a big list of general goals for the year, Colleen's method has you break down your goal setting into eight different areas. Also, instead of making goals for the whole year, these goals are meant to be for a shorter time period, such as three months.

Although, some of last year's goals, have found their way back onto this year's list, making goals and working towards them is a useful way of starting to develop the good habits that make up an orderly life and a civilized world.

Photo courtesy, Emelie Pepito

As a starting point for your 2014 goal setting, I have included my goals for the first three months of the year, in each of eight areas.

1. Self Care

Pilates 5 times per week (planning for 5, might help me get at least 2 in!)

Drink 5 glasses of water per day (coffee doesn't count)

2. Spiritual Life

Finish Experiencing God (Henry Blackaby)

Spend first 30 minutes of the day in prayer/Bible study

3. Intellect/Emotions 

(for me right now, these are some homeschool goals)

Finish Algebra with second daughter

Consistent school with youngest children

4. Relationships

Spend friendly time with hubby when he arrives home 

(complaining about the day, or asking him to do a project does not count)

Read aloud to children daily

5. Time Management

No phone/computer until priorities 1, 2 and 3 are done

Up and productive by 7am

6. Nest Management

Keep my room clean

Keep the laundry room clean

(2 hot spots that make me feel better when tidy)

7. Uniquely You

(This might mean weekly pedicures, or more time spent on self care, 

but those aren't my top priorities right now)

Consistent blog upkeep

Keep closet organized

8. Financial Stewardship

Make a list of accounts

Organize household filing system

I hope these give you some ideas for your own goal setting. Be sure and pray through your goals and let God give you inspiration about what you should be doing. Then, once your goals are written down, find a friend to be your accountability partner and enjoy seeing all that you accomplish this year.

The steps of a good man are ordered of the Lord: and he delighteth in his way

Psalm 37:23

Linked up at Welcome Home Wednesdays

A Weekend at the Hospital

It was Saturday morning. I had been rushing to finish up school, prepare for the three birthdays in December and shop for Christmas. We had a new stove being delivered and so Scott asked me to take our just turned 11 year old son to a karate tournament to help support his studio.

I am very happy that my children are learning Sho Shou Kung Fu, it takes care of P.E. and self defense requirements as well as being good therapy for my learning disabled child. However, I don't like fighting. When my brother would pull out the boxing gloves at a family get together and let the preteen boys go at it,  I was often the most vehement protester. I don't want my children to get hurt and I don't want someone else's child hurt at the hands of my child.

Flash back to Saturday morning, in order to help out my husband who was waiting for the stove I took my son, leaving behind loads of household chores for what I hoped was a short day at the tournament.

                               

When we got there and saw all the people I started to realize it would be a longer day than I realized. My son finally got his turn in the ring and was holding his own until his third fight. This child was clearly more advanced and several times took my son to the mat. During the third intense grapple when my son was determined not to go down, something went wrong. Suddenly my son was lying on the mat with his leg twisted crookedly over his other leg, moaning in pain. I ran to the mat and tried to comfort him as the medical personnel on site assessed him. As soon as they mentioned a break and that we would need an ambulance I called 911. At that point my emotions were a mixture of rage that my son had gotten hurt and grief that he was in such intense pain. It was his femur, a bone that, when broken results in pain that is said to be more intense than childbirth.

The paramedics arrived and turned my sons uniform into rags as they cut it off him to prepare for traction. All through these moments I was trying to be calming, hoping he wouldn't pass out from the pain. When they pulled his leg straight he initially cried out but then settled down as the pain eased. 

                                     

We then hurried off to the ambulance where we agonizingly bumped over country roads to the nearest hospital. The sweet nursed brought ice water and prayed for us, but the incompetent doctor pulled the traction off, letting my son's leg jolt painfully back into its crooked position. The ambulance drivers once again replaced the traction and we headed back into the ambulance to drive another hour to the nearest children's hospital. 

                                  

My son brightened up a bit when his karate coach showed up with a second place medal. I, on the other hand found it small consolation for the pain my son was going through, from the initial break, to the IM Nail surgery where a metal rod was inserted through the bone. Even the subsequent week at home was painful, a task as minor as getting off the couch to use the restroom was an excruciating ordeal.

                          

Although this was not the first medical emergency I had gone through with a child, it was certainly the worst. The whole experience has melded together in my head as a long string of misery.

However there were several moments where the hand of God was clearly seen, moments which gave me strength to keep moving forward.

The surprise of gentle, praying nurses. The coach who skillfully distracted my son during the third traction transition, the sweet friends who brought us dinner and filled our hospital room with prayers, and the sweet friends, family and neighbors who brought blessed distractions during our first days home.

The most surprising blessing was seeing my son respond so graciously to such an incredible trial. This precious boy has given me more than a few days of frustration, fighting me over math lessons or provoking fights with his two younger siblings. Having a few quiet days with him in the hospital and seeing him respond so sweetly to the misery he was going through gave me an enormous boost of love and respect for this child, and although this was a horrific experience for me, my trust in God has not wavered. He is our only hope, every good thing comes from Him,  and I know that all He does is good.

James 5:10-11 KJV

[10] Take, my brethren, the prophets, who have spoken in the name of the Lord, for an example of suffering affliction, and of patience. [11] Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy.