Heavenly Mothers Know Their Maker -Day 9

"Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture." Psalm 100:3

Why is it so easy for mothers to worry? Maybe it is because there are little people who are completely dependent on us. They depend on us for their food, clothing, and emotional support, and when you homeschool, as I do, the things to worry about are multiplied. I can't blame anyone but myself if things are going badly with my children. I am the one at home caring for these children and so every aspect of their well being seems to depend on me and my efforts. 

This enormous responsibility is clearly justification for worry, right?

In the last few years, I found some good news about this burden of worry. You see, I had taken my duties very seriously and been vigilant from early on to make sure that my children were around the right people, ate the right food, and were taught the word of God. I was also very critical about people who weren't as smart as me about how to raise their kids. 

Then something happened which completely leveled this proud, and fearful mom. One of my children went through a really difficult time, struggling with compulsive behaviors that they absolutely abhorred. All of a sudden, my efforts were revealed as being absolutely worthless. I had tried to create a perfect family in my own strength and it completely backfired. 

This began a few years of soul searching, wondering where I had failed, what mistakes I had made which had caused my child to stumble.

What answers did I find? None. I know that I made some mistakes and I did some things right. I could examine every parenting decision we made under a microscope to try and fix things for the children who are still young but I think what I really found, which took no microscope to discover, is that God is God, and I am not.

The way that this looks in my daily life is that I stop judging people based on their behavior. It also means that I keep doing my best to teach my children the word of God and protect them from situations that they aren't ready for. 

The biggest change that has come from the discovery that God is in control, is that I have nothing to lose and nothing to prove. Everything good in my life comes from Him, anything that I do right is completely because He has been gracious enough to reveal himself. Anything that I do wrong is completely covered by His blood. 

Knowing that God has all things in his hands, that he forgives all my sins, and that he is working all things together for good fills me with such joy and gratitude that my parenting can't help but reflect this joy and peace. 

Sheep don't worry. The Good Shepherd watches over us, He loves our little flock and we don't need to worry either.

A few books helped me understand that Jesus was judged in my place and I didn't need to judge or worry about being judged. 
Families Where Grace Is In Place
How to Stop the Pain

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