"For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting…" Psalm 100:5
It is one of my most shameful memories as a mother. I had been trying to potty train my daughter, using some potty training in a day garbage and the stuff we were learning through Growing Kids God's Way. I was tired of the numerous accidents and this time, when my little three year old failed to reach the potty in time, I became angry. I ripped off the soiled undies, wiped her up and then sat her down hard while I went to go clean up the mess. I dealt with the mistake of a small child with harshness and anger, instead of with gentleness and grace.
Why was I so annoyed? You see, between Growing Kids God's Way, and my neighbor telling me about her own child's potty training successes, I was feeling inadequate and insecure. My child was not successful with potty training and she was often not appearing to get my instructions at all. I had no training in child development and was under the mistaken impression that all children gain milestones at the same time. My insecurity made this misunderstanding even uglier, as I began to grow impatient with my child for her delays.
I tell this story with a huge amount of sadness. I wish I had been more merciful. I wish I hadn't seen parenting as some kind of contest and had realized that my children were all individuals. I wish Growing Kids God's Way hadn't been the only parenting instruction that I was aware of at the time. I was trying to create an identity for myself through my children, instead of realizing that my identity is fixed in Christ. You see, when we accept Christ as our Savior, our old self dies, we live a new life in Christ. (Galatians 2:20)
The mercy of God sometimes involves redirecting us, or stopping us from doing something harmful. It even sometimes involves painful consequences for our actions, but it never involves anger and it is never motivated by pride or insecurity.
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YES! I am glad I found your blog (I have commented on instagram, but when I am on my phone it's hard to get on blogs or comment). Honestly, I think we have all been there in that heated moment which you later remember with remorse. If that is your worst moment of parenthood then I need you to be my role model. This mindset of mercy and patience is what my topic is for 31 days. I am going to start following you on here. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHi Natalie, I have enjoyed visiting with you on IG and I am so glad you visited my site.
DeleteI have made lots of mistakes as a mom, and I am so thankful for the Grace of God and for examples of other loving mothers like yourself. I look forward to reading your 31 Day posts.
Blessings,
Jenn